Listen Between the Lines
Businesspeople need to listen as much as they need to talk. Real communication goes in both directions. The biggest communication hazard is that we don’t listen to communicate, we listen to reply. We hear rather than listen, creating misunderstandings, missing deadlines and focusing on wrong issues at work. We listen at the rate of 125 to 250 words per minute and think at 1,000 to 3,000 words per minute. We are distracted, preoccupied or forgetful for 75% of the time, so only around 20% of the time, we actually remember what we hear. Sadly, less than 2% people have had formal education in listening.
Active listening, is making a conscious emotional effort to hear your customer's words as well as to try and understand the total message being sent, both verbally and nonverbally.
If you feel that you display poor listening skills, recognise it as an area of improvement and set yourself on the path to becoming a better listener. To help you get started, here are some useful strategies you can immediately start using:
1. Pay attention to NON-VERBAL CUES
Body Language:
To signal that you are curious and attentive, use appropriate body language. Sit up straight with your head slightly tilted, put your feet flat on the floor, and lean forward slightly. This will give cues that you are interested and help you build a rapport.
Maintain Eye Contact:
Eye contact is a basic ingredient of effective communication. Your eyes should be on the speaker. This establishes trust and respect.
Avoid Distractions:
Don’t get distracted by background sounds. Try to give undivided attention by choosing a quiet room, switching off your mobile and concentrating at the task at hand. Try not to focus on the speaker's accent, speech or mannerisms to the point where they become distractions. Finally, don't be
distracted by your own thoughts, feelings, or biases. Lastly, allow the person to finish; never jump the gun.
2. Pay attention to VERBAL CUES
Repeat:
If you are unsure of the message, ask the speaker to repeat it. By doing this, you will get a deeper understanding of the message. Nodding your head or using verbal gestures like ‘hmmm’ and/or ‘ok’, encourage the person to elaborate more on their feelings.
Ask questions:
Open ended questions like ‘Tell me more about...’, ‘How did you come to this conclusion?’ or ‘How would this work?’, all help you to get prompt, lengthy responses and understand the bigger picture.
Paraphrase:
Paraphrasing is simply restating what other person has said in your own words. Sentences like ‘What I understand is…..’, or ‘In other words……’, all help to listen to the unsaid emotion. Always restate in your own words, capturing the essence, reflecting the feeling and removing any negative connotation.
Summarise:
Summarising is the shorter version of what the speaker has said. ‘These seem to be the key ideas you have expressed….’, or ‘We can conclude that your main concerns are….’, will make the listener feel that all his emotions are accurately understood.
Due to the structure of the English language, until you hear a word spoken, many times, you’ll be left unsure of how it should sound. Hence, many top employers provide listening skills training for their employees. Listening is a lifelong approach and it will serve you well if you cultivate it.